Your “inner critic.”
You most likely know this voice, even though you may never have identified it as an “inner critic.” The first step is to identify that voice and identify the times when you hear it. These are situations where you are brought back to a fixed rather than a growth mindset.
To do this, you simply need to practice awareness.
Start by identifying the voice when you hear it. Next, try to remember what event preceded those negative thoughts.
It’s a bit like trying to identify what is causing a stomach ache.
You have to go back and try to remember what you ate just before.
If you’re not sure you’ve identified your inner critic yet, try looking for cues. For example, look for times when you find that you’re doubting yourself, saying something like, “Can I really do this?” Or be aware of when you’re focusing on failure rather than success; for example, where you’re worrying about what will happen if you fail at something.
A good place to look for your fixed mindset voice is any time you’re trying something new or challenging. These are the most common situations where this negative voice arises.
Now let’s reframe these thoughts.
Once you can recognize the voice, you can learn to control it.
The way that you interpret challenges, obstacles, or criticism that you face is up to you. But this is the most challenging step for most people.
It is difficult to reframe the voice when you have well-grooved patterns.
The way to think about reframing is to imagine giving advice to a friend.
Naturally, you would never use a harsh, critical voice when trying to help a friend.
If you would never do this with a friend, why are you doing it with yourself?
We are generally harsher on ourselves than we are with others, so instead of talking to yourself, imagine that you’re giving advice to a good friend.
Re-Frame a Statement
Take each statement that your inner voice gives you and imagine if it were a friend, your partner, or a family member who was saying it to themselves. Now, imagine that you’re giving them advice and reframe the negative statement that was made.
For example
“Are you sure you can do that? You don’t have the right skills to take that on.” BECOMES “I’m not sure I can do it, but I can learn with practice and effort. ”
“What if I fail? I’ll be a failure” BECOMES “All successful people have failures. I can learn from my failure.”
“She’s a natural at business. Besides, her family runs a business. I could never be as good as her.” BECOMES “She’s successful in her business, and I can learn from her.”
For example, some Intelligence examples
“I can’t do that. I’m not smart enough to take that on.” BECOMES “I’m not sure I can do it, but I can learn with practice and effort.”
“She’s a natural at business. Besides, she has an MBA. I could never be as good as her.” BECOMES “She’s successful in her business, and I can learn from her.”
After reframing comes action.
What challenges can you take on in order to foster and nurture a growth mindset?
What challenges have you been avoiding?
To learn techniques to have a success mindset, go to http://jgtips.com/smindset.